It is great to be back home and to my bed. I don’t know if this applies just to me or is the same thing for you; I find that regardless of the luxury of hotel beds and environments, after a maximum of ten days I am just about ready to return home to my bed and my familiar surroundings and territory.
You can therefore understand my excitement at being back home…However, it is also kind of bitter sweet for me as I have had to release my older son to find his way to his dream life and continue to write his own story. As much as I would rather he stayed home I do recognise that this is the next phase of his journey; so please keep him in your prayers.
On to today’s post; our focus is on comfort zones and growth. Like I mentioned it takes a maximum of ten days outside my regular life and routine before I become bored and agitated to return to my life as I know it. I have had to however, question why I would set out excited to experience new things and people and after a while begin to crave what I already know and I am familiar with.
The only answer I have been able to come up with, is the fact that I begin to look forward to my return home because sometimes even in the midst of great fun and loads of relaxation, new experiences can be nerve wracking and discomfiting.
One of my great struggle is an inability to find food I am familiar with… oh this just makes me irritable by the seventh day. But more than the food, I have discovered the real reason why I begin to pine to return home is because at home I am in control of the environment. I know where everything is and even when I don’t have something within reach I can navigate my way to it. I also struggle because somehow, my high D personality hates to ‘over rely’ on others. I like to be in charge and having to rely on others makes me extremely uncomfortable.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, for starters it means that my discomfort with new experiences denies others with me the opportunity of adventure especially if they are relying on me to get them to the experience. (My children have an earful if you want details of how I am the fun killer). The thing is, this is not good reputation at all if you know what I mean; who wants to be the fun killing mother? But more than this is I deny myself the opportunity of new growth experiences, and while being the fun killer can only hurt my reputation, a lack of new experiences can stunt my growth in the dream life.
Back to my son KK for a minute; I can tell how these last two weeks are a major shift for him. The culture shock is a total package. From the learning culture to the dress code, from the weather to the food and even something as simple as a sense of humour. Not mentioning hand gestures and even straining to understand the accents of some of the people he will meet while worrying if they understand him.
All these can make the first foray into the dream life and land a huge task. Although some people eventually get the hang of these kinds of things and go on to become experts in helping others transition through them while others never get them under control and ultimately have to give up on chasing the dream. Others stick to what they know and never venture and thereby allow greatness to elude them because they would not try.
In the end whichever line of the divide we fall, the end result leaves a mark on the dream we chase.
The questions to answer so I can deal with this issue are; ‘how do I intend to deal with my love for comfort zones and familiar territory?’ How do I intend to wade through the fear of relinquishing control so I can learn? What should I do so my reputation as fun killer is repaired?
Well, my answer; which incidentally is the same counsel I have given my son as I watched him juggle all his new experiences is;
1. I will open myself to Experiential Growth. What that means is I will no longer see the fun, adventure or new experience as a stand-alone activity but instead I will begin to see it as a learning experience that will enhance my growth.
2. I will schedule those times into my itinerary and to-do-list even before I leave home. I will think through and research them as much as I can so I can prepare myself for what is ahead.
3. I will do my best to see relying on others as a necessary part of that growth experience rather than a sign of weakness.
4. When I am not sure I will ask another person who might be more knowledgeable on the subject for help.
The truth is that dream chasers most times can never be prepared enough for all the curve balls they will be thrown on their way to dreamland. However, understanding that some growth comes from formal education while most come from experiences such as this, can help in shaping us and even though they can be uncomfortable in the beginning they give us an edge over the man who doesn’t make the effort to purpose new experiences for his growth.
It is my belief that if I follow through on the four commitments I have made above and if you will follow through on them as well; we will be fine.
You will make it NeverTheLess.
Here is to your success
Bidemi