HOW TO STARE FEAR DOWN

This past week was one week where I had to face my fears, quit or entrust everyone but me take responsibility for my life, destiny and business. As I dealt with each situation as it arose; it dawned on me that for every one of us who will live our dream lives to fulfilment, every day we will have to deal with fears; whether real or imagined.
As I pondered on the subject of fear; especially on moving ahead and how it can impact upon our expected goals, I realised that fear is part of the journey. I also realised that what we do or not do within the time fear shows up will to a very large extent determine just how far our dream lives will go.
Here are a few things I now know about staring fear in the face and moving ahead into destiny.
1. Acknowledge the fear so you are better equipped to face it – This past week was not the first time some of the issues I had to contend with were surfacing; however, it was the first time I realised that the issue wasn’t that anyone was out to get me as much as it was the fact that I didn’t realise how fearful I had been of some imagined outcome. The moment I realised it was fear dominating and I identified the way the fear presents; I found out I was better equipped to face it. My thinking became, worst case scenario this is what will happen, but till it is worst case, I will not let up.
2. Remember the purpose for which you set out. – the moment I settled it in my heart that the show had to go on no matter how things turned out; the reason why I set up shop began to play out in my mind. I concluded that I wasn’t out on an academic exercise of any sort; I am out to make impact, and until impact is made then purpose has not been fulfilled. If you are dealing with fear today, don’t forget why you set out on the journey in the first place.
3. Choose the battles you will fight. – Recently I went somewhere and a friend of mine showed me something one of my ‘contemporaries’ in business was doing to keep his business alive. It was very commendable effort, but for where we were it was also very expensive, unaffordable effort for us. So when my friend advised that I did the same thing; I told her that was a battle that I wasn’t going to be fighting yet. I had to consciously choose to conserve our energy and resources to achieve our ultimate goal, while looking for inexpensive and heartfelt ways of improving the value base of the business. I chose not to be distracted by what the other person is doing right now especially since I couldn’t afford it; while concentrating on what I can. The point is you cannot allow yourself to be drawn into battles that ultimately distract from what you are trying to achieve.
4. Play by the Rules of the day. Every time we are faced with fear, our first instinct; at least that is mine, is to run for my dear life. Retreat is what first comes to mind for me. A return to what I used to know and what used to obtain. But last week I realised that every time fresh fear erupts it is possible that the rules have changed a bit and I am doing my best to resist them. New rules usually mean possible failure and possible failure is greatest recipe for fear. So I say choose to explore the new rules; all of them may not be in your favour; but until you do, you may not realise that most of them are in your favour.
5. Do your homework. – Eventually, you need to make a decision; never make uninformed decisions. Take the time to ask relevant questions over and over to clarfy the way you should go. That I said that you must play by the rules of the day is not to say you should rush in without due diligence. While doing this, don’t forget the standard; don’t compromise it. Tackle what you need to tackle but ensure that nothing is compromised in the end.
6. Be Responsible: ACT – Fear’s greatest power is that it immobilises and pushes us into some level of hopelessness and helplessness; all of which culminate in inactivity. The person who wants to conquer fear must recognise that the responsibility to act is his entirely. When afraid, it is easier to let others act on our behalf so we don’t bear the blame should we fail. However, for a man living his dream life; you can only act and hope others will lend a helping hand. To do nothing and wait on others to do on our behalf is succumbing to fear, even though indirectly. Most fear usually is waiting for you to make that one move and like a mirage it will begin to clear as you move towards it.
7. Repeat the Process – Because fear is not a one off occurrence, my final tip is that you repeat this process every time you sense that the paralysis is coming upon you. You may have to do this so many times in your life time, and that is okay, as long as you move forward, you will do just fine.
Rounding off today’s post, please note that trivialising fear will not help either because as imagined as it may be, to the man who is afraid it is real. Till next time, remember that your purpose is bigger than anything that may try to stop you.
Keep pushing and you will make it NeverTheLess!
Here is to your success.

Bidemi

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