Last week in church, my Pastor was teaching on ‘Attitude’ and mentioned that some of us have attitudes that may be affecting our growth. After which, he asked if anyone would like to share on some attitudes that may be detrimental to their growth process. I shared the fact that I feel really frustrated when relying on others. The way my mind works is – most of the stuff one has to rely on others for, one should be able to deal with on their own..
Yes, I know, I wrote the book on Collaborations and yes, I should know better that no one person has all that it takes to actualise their dream life; nevertheless this is something I recently realised I was struggling with. At the end of the service, someone said to me; not in these exact words but effectively; ‘get off your high horse and ask for help if you need it’; to which I totally agreed and will try to do, after all, the worst that can happen is ‘they will say no’, isn’t it?
Well, as I continued to think about it, I realised that it wasn’t that I was arrogant or felt I could get it all done by myself. Rather, it is the limitation, that not being able to do some stuff alone, imposes on me that I hate, and I am frustrated about. I realised that I enjoy every help I have received over the years and more than that, I am grateful for every effort others have made to move me along in my dream life.
However, don’t you sometimes feel the frustration that not knowing how to do a few things can bring because of its attendant limitations? For instance, if you are a parent and your child is ill, and you take him to the hospital and the doctor who should attend to him is neither available nor sees the urgency, how do you feel? I know how I feel; I feel like that particular day is a good one to begin a medical degree so I will not have to rely on a doctor such as that one again.
What is the point of this post then?
The point for me is as frustrating as these limitations are, I can deploy them to work for me. Although, I may not be disposed to going back to school and training to become a doctor, I can change my hospital and this time, be more thorough in asking the right questions before I sign up.
As regards my dream life, and as I continue to think about all of this, I find that the frustration that manifests as a result of the limitations, have actually become the inspiration for some really great things that one has been able to achieve. It was the frustration of not knowing much about how marriage works that set me on the quest to be as knowledgeable as is possible on marriage and in the process, I gained a great marriage and a ministry.
It was the limitation of finding enriching and authentic Christian literature for women on our shores that pushed and fuelled the fire that became Effectual Magazine. It was the frustration of poor leadership and the annoyance of ‘arm chair’ critics who don’t know better themselves, that put me on the path to learn to be the best leader that I can be and even though I not a level 5 yet, I am on my way there.
Today, I see how even the limitations around me right now, can – if I take time to study them and question them properly – give birth to the next great thing that God has ordained for my life and dream.
You too can take your frustrations and do something about them. After your appraisal, take what you don’t like and keep it in focus, ask the right questions, make the necessary adjustments and keep at it until it delivers to you the potential within it.
It is a frustration yes, but depending on the perspective you have, it also carries potential… after all, it is said that the things that annoy us the most are the things that we are probably called to resolve.
Come let’s kick these frustrations and limitations ‘in the teeth’; and please let me know how it is going. You will make it NeverTheLess
Here is to your success!
Bidemi