Welcome for the next three weeks we will be looking at definitions and defining everything we need to for a great dream life.
For years I didn’t know who I was. I knew my name, my parents’ names, where I came from and what it was I did at the point I was trying to define myself. Because I wasn’t sure exactly what people meant when they ask ‘who are you?’ I always hid under the cloak of whatever I was doing or was up with me at the time to answer their question.
As I grew older and hopefully wiser, I realised that it was not okay to say ‘my name is Bidemi and I am a housewife’ or something in those lines. I began to realise that it was important that I defined myself not just by my reality as it was then, but by my potential, my assignment and by my processes and experiences.
So why definitions you will ask? Definitions in my view is an ability to shine light into dark places. They make the difference in our ability to assimilate and react under given circumstances. Definitions capture our essence; fears, thrills, passions, beliefs and strongholds. Definitions help us recognise our strengths and comprehend our weaknesses. In short, definitions simplify what otherwise is difficult.
So I thought to define myself, maybe I should limit the number of words that I use. I thought, if I know who I am whether realistically or by aspirational then maybe I will find the clarity that I seek in my core.
How did I define myself then and how can you define yourself? Well, I decided to define myself using three words. Though I was looking for only three words, I had to do a lot of thinking and talking to others to arrive at my three words. The words I hope define me today and will define me for all eternity are PURPOSE, INTEGRITY, and EXCELLENCE.
Yes, I know you are thinking these are just value propositions and I agree with you. Here is my thinking, who we are in our core is determined by the potential God has put in us, and these potential are only lived through our values. So, I decided that I will be known for these three words; and whatever I do, they will be the value that I bring to the fore.
Years later, I am yet to fully comprehend and apprehend these three words, however, I am well on my way and it is my prayer that someday I will be able to tilt the scale in my favour re my three words. So it is your turn, what three words define you?
Question now is how does defining help your capacity to live your dream?
1. The complicated is clarified. Because I now know what my life stands for I have clarity what my end result should look like. What this means is that even in situations where I am not sure where exactly to deploy my three words, they remain the guiding principles for my life. So whether I am just being a house wife or a CEO, these three words become my GPS. I am able to ask myself how whatever I am doing reflects purpose, am I acting in integrity and what is my excellence level at the task?
2. My growth can now be measured – I noticed that by the time I articulated my three words and made them public, others started to look out for how my words and action matched or didn’t. This put on me the responsibility to ensure that I intentionally lived by these words. I made myself accountable and with time, people started to come back with feedback on how I was doing. This helped measure my growth and help me make required and necessary adjustments from time to time.
3. I finally could say NO without feeling guilty – Knowing that others were watching me live my life by the standards of these words made me rise to the challenge of accountability but also gave me the power to say No when I needed to without feeling guilty. It was pretty much easy to say No I cannot do that because its integrity is questionable and I am trying to live a life of integrity. They became the template for my standards. Whatever I couldn’t find purpose for I didn’t do, whatever, didn’t reflect integrity I didn’t get involved in and whatever I did, I pushed to do with excellence.
It is important that you are sure what you stand for and having these three words as my foundational and core definitions helped put me on the right track. Please note that I am not saying I have mastered the value of these words but at least they gave me a head start in the dream journey. My thinking is you cannot push anything except you have defined who you are, will be or want to be. Every dream chaser ought to therefore take definitions very seriously.
Till next week, remember you will make it NeverTheLess, after all the dream giver has put the value in your DNA.
Here is to your success!
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